Before any story can be lifted off the ground, whether it be film, television, or literature, the central character of the tale must be examined. I believe that the choices in life we are presented with as people cannot be defined simply as being "black or white." I believe all the choices we make in life in beliefs and opportunities are a direct result of our surroundings, our upbringing, our society, and those we choose to admire. Every person's actions have a reason and for every different person's reason, there is a different story for how they acquired their own personal way of thinking.
It is because of this that I feel the need to share a bit of my personal history before making any other posts on this blog that would be associated with my own views and beliefs. I was born in Nacadoches, Tx on August 3rd, 1990, a day after my father's birthday. I was named Robert Edward Morris IV and was raised in a little town called Henderson until I was about 5 years old. We moved right after I had finished Kindergarden and such would be the routine I would grow accustomed to, finish a grade, then move schools. It wasn't until I reached the 3rd grade that I finally was able to stay at a single school for more than one year. The school was located in Hughes Springs, a town virtually invisible on the map and a community overwhelmed by Christian beliefs, but I made many friends there. I even became somewhat popular, but as soon as I finished elementary school, once again I was on the road to a new town and new school, except this time it was different; this time we were moving to the big city of Dallas and my father wasn't coming with us.
My father and I never really connected, due to the fact that he never took time out of his schedule for me and assumed that I was a big enough boy to understand. The fact is I never understood and to be honest I still don't understand. How could a person completely neglect his entire family all so he could keep working on his farm or shop or school. The only way I was ever able to get to spend some time with my father was showing cows at the stock show he would take his students to. Truth is I hated stock shows, I hated showing cows, I hated the environment, I hated everything about the stock shows, but I stuck with it for three grueling years just so I could see the slightest hint of approval from my father.
When my mother and I arrived to Lewisville, a town just on the outskirts of Dallas, we stayed in an apartment for the next year. Being used to living in a big house with wide open pastures and now living in a 2 bedroom apartment, I found it very difficult to comprehend why our lives have changed so drastically. It didn't really come as a surprise when I heard the news of my parents divorce, but I was very surprised at the sudden interest my dad was taking in me. My dad was taking me to places like Six Flags and even to the movies, but instead of being stricken with joy, all I could think about was that it took a whole damn divorce just for my father to take an interest in me. Even though I could have accepted his offer, I could have moved back to our big house, and get to go to school with all my friends, but even at age 12 I knew he wouldn't keep true to his promises. I knew that all he wanted was to thwart my mom in something and I was merely the tool he needed, nothing more.
After a year and a half, my mom met another man named Mike who at first I was very hesitant at getting to know, but once I did, I realized he was a very kind person and the kind of father I always wished my dad was. His kids on the other hand did not give me the best of first impressions. His son was a redneck from the city who was obsessed with the Marines and the C.S.A., but did have very good taste in movies I will admit. His daughter was a girl who believed that women were incapable of achieving all the things a man could and seemed to be destined to be nothing more than a cut out of a 50's housewife, but like me was able to identify the quirks of our family. It took a few years before I could get used to idea of a new siblings, but when I finally did they were no longer strangers, but now the rest of my family.
As a result of all this change in such a short period of time, school did not go very smoothly and I was unable to aquire most of the social skills that I would require in high school, leaving me socially awkward throughout all of middle school and until my senior year in High School. I was constantly ridiculed as being ugly, weird, odd, scary, creepy, as well as gay, but it wasn't until I searched for activities not associated within my town that I began to become my own individual rather than trying to be what everyone wanted me to be. Having a bit of training in television, I was offered a job for XCW Wrestling as a camera operator. After paying my dues, the producer Howie took me under his wing and taught me everything I know. He taught me so much in fact, I became his replacement when he moved away. Seeing this as the most important thing in my life at the time, I slowly began to disregard all of my class work at college. Little did I know this would be a huge mistake.
With little to no assistance, I was the new technical director in charge of all the cameras, lighting, videos, and music. Seeing this as the most important thing in my life at the time, I disregarded all of my class work at college. At first I loved it, the feeling of being in charge of something important absolutely thrilled me, but also at the same time when I wasn't working for XCW, I was out on the town indulging in things I'd always been to scared to do. I was going to new places every weekend and meeting several different girls, but soon things got worse. In a future post I may further examine this deeply significant time in my life, but for right now its just too painful to share.
By the next year when March rolled around, I had ruined my chances at college and knew it was time to begin searching for a job. At first my pride got the best of me, I couldn't see myself working fast food or at a coffee shop. I saw myself working as an editor, a technical director, but eventually I had to come face to face with the fact that even though I had an extensive amount of experience working for XCW, PCW, and XKO, no one was really that interested in hiring a 19 year old kid. It wasn't long before my standards were lowered and I was employed at the Chevron Gas Station working graveyard 40 hours a week.
Seeing that I was still quite disappointed with how poorly I had done in school, my mom proposed the idea of saving enough money to get back into school and once I had the money, I could go back to school full-time. For the next several months I worked long grueling hours, never missing a day of work, but once I saw $1000 and a little extra in my account, I knew it was all worth it.
I strongly believe that these events and people have deeply impacted my life, not just by the path I now walk on, but by the way my perception has been carefully crafted by the milestones of my journeys.
